Double-sided

Hmm, tempted to blog again. Haven't done ANY homework. Maybe later I try the Deductive Questions? Other subjects are boring.

Somehow I think that my motivation to study is like a sinusoidal curve or something like cyclical. Now it is at the trough, so uh-uh, no homework doing for now.

This thinking/action seems childish, immature. But somehow I feel that it is I who prefer it that way. Maybe being childish/immature will make me feel more like being here, on Earth.

Maybe there's a missing part in my life, and I am not talking about those lovey dovey relationships, but just this missing important part, sort of like an ignition key. And till now I still can't find out what is it, even doing so much thinking and having some revelations. What is it? What really is it?

I don't know. And I do want to find out.